The competition was fierce this week as Rick Santorum and Utah’s Deseret News battled it out for the weekly title.

The LEFT Show’s GOP Jesus of the Week Nominees! 

Santorum – CLICK HERE
Deseret “News” – CLICK HERE

IN THIS CORNER – Rick Santorum

COLUMBUS, Ohio, Feb 18 (Reuters) – Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum challenged President Barack Obama’s Christian beliefs on Saturday, saying White House policies were motivated by a “different theology.”

A devout Roman Catholic who has risen to the top of Republican polls in recent days, Santorum said the Obama administration had failed to prevent gas prices rising and was using “political science” in the debate about climate change.

AND IN THIS CORNER – The Deseret “News”

The last time I looked at Deseret News, they were touting a poll purporting to show that most Americans oppose marriage equality — something in conflict with all other polls. An investigation showed that the poll used an unrepresentative sampling, skewed to disproportionately include those people most likely to take a negative position.

Deseret News is the voice of the Mormon Church, which owns it, and twice weekly the paper publishes inserts specifically on church matters. This relationship influences the reports it publishes.

A new article they published claims that marriage equality is a threat to religious liberty. The paper says there is a “growing conflict between same-sex marriage and the rights of people of faith — a conflict that experts says is negatively affecting the rights of individuals and organizations to live their faith freely and without fear of punishment.”

This claim deserves the response Ronald Reagan gave Jimmy Carter in the 1980 debate: “There you go again.” The story misrepresents specific cases to make them about same-sex marriage, when they were about something different.

And The Winner Is: Rick Santorum!

So, the President of the United States went to the National Prayer Breakfast this morning – a breakfast known for being the exclusive province of Christians and quoted scripture to make the case for a fairer tax policy.

Scripture? For Fairness?

That is NOT the GOP Jesus way. 

The President:

“And when I talk about shared responsibility, it’s because I genuinely believe at a time when folks are struggling, at a time when we have enormous deficits, it’s hard for me to ask seniors on a fixed income or young people with student loans or middle class families who can barely pay the bills to shoulder the burden alone, and I think to myself, if I am willing to give something up as someone who has been extraordinarily blessed, give up some of the tax breaks that I enjoy — I actually think that’s going to make economic sense.”

“But for me as a Christian, it also coincides with Jesus’s teaching that for unto whom much is given, much shall be required,” President Obama bespoke from the Book.

Wow … So, who in the hallowed halls of Congress will stand against this tyranny of actual Christian Ethics?

Sen. Orrin Hatch, that’s who.

Said Hatch:

“In 2008, the president declared that his nomination was the world historical moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal, someone needs to remind the president that there was only one person who walked on water, and he did not occupy the Oval Office.”

Considering that Sen. Hatch has used his religion as a weapon with which to bonk the heads, and steal the rights of the different than him, it shouldn’t be surprising that he’s such a hypocritical ass.

Hypocritical IS the GOP Jesus way, after all.

Jesus and GOP Jesus are different guys.

There’s New Testament Jesus, who seems a pretty nice fella, and then there’s the GOP Jesus, who likes killing folks (especially in Texas), thinks war is nifty, believes that corporate profits are more important than feeding hungry children and tending to the sick and infirm.

GOP Jesus is a champion of supply side economics.

GOP Jesus is the Jesus that the GOP whips out to justify the very worst of their bigotry, hate and blood lust.

GOP Jesus is Jesus with A Goatee from an Opposite Dimension.

It’s important to remember that GOP Jesus is a dick and so are the people who use him as a justification to shit all over the message of the other, better, kinder, goldener-ruley Jesus. 

This is what accounts for humor in the liberal world of the dirty Utah Democrat -

It’s a major point of contention between GOP Jesus and Jesus – GOP Jesus loves Utah and it makes Jesus a little sick.

Here’s a little taste of why GOP Jesus loves that backwards, silly state.

From Manolith -

Now then, Utah is the state famous for being controlled by Mormons who have what they refer to as “traditional values” when it comes to the ladies. So it is not unexpected that the state would pass laws giving men even more control over the bodies of women than they already legally have. But come on Utah, you’ve come so far. You’ve given us the creators of “Gentlemen Broncos” and “Napoleon Dynamite,” which are hilarious. “SLC Punk” was a pretty cool movie. I heard you’ve even let there be coffee shops in your state. We all appreciate the advances you’ve made. Also, polygamy–props for polygamy, you guys are way ahead of us on that one. But come on guys, women are people too. How about we let them make their own decisions and not put them in jail for life for them. Look, nobody likes “The View,” we all agree that women have made a bad decision by allowing it to continue to be on TV, but no one thinks its a good idea to throw women who watch “The View” in jail. So I’ll tell you what Utah, let’s give women the right to choose and to watch “The View”, and in exchange they will continue to let you have sex with them.

Whaddya say?

This is why GOP Jesus has a permanent wing in Mitt Romney’s Deer Valley home.